Where it all began
How we ended up where we are right now..
It was right on our doorstep..
We were living in New Zealand, myself and my wife, we were free, so free. Travelling, wild camping, living pay cheque to pay cheque. We would sit on a beach, a beer in hand and a notebook, we didn’t appreciate where we were, we didn’t appreciate the beauty that surrounded us. The calm, the simplicity of a life without boundaries, instead, we sat and planned out our lives ahead, we day dreamed about going home to the UK to settle down and have a family, to become parents. We were so desperate to get back to the UK rat race that we would spend the warm, hazy New Zealand evenings, sat inside watching UK tv documentaries. We were so excited to go and live day to day lives earning a living, holidaying once a year and getting ready to wrap up on the sofa with a take away, watching the X factor on tv when autumn hit that we were completely blind to the life that was right on our doorstep, the life we didn’t know that our souls so desperately craved.
Three years later
We are in our house in the UK, sat on our expensive sofa, watching our expensive TV, surrounded by lots of ‘things’ we’ve bought on credit cards, we are watching X Factor, I’m pregnant with our first child and life is good, but is it? We both have that heart ache, that unconscious void that material things just doesn’t fill. No matter how hard we try, no matter how much stuff we buy, the ache is real and although the odd holiday here and there, the latest tech or a nice meal out might fill it temporarily, its very short lasting and oh, so hollow.
Another year passes..
We upgrade to a bigger house, we buy a nice car, we have our beautiful baby boy and life is still good, but is it? That ache is still there, its so much more prevalent than ever before, it’s throbbing like a beating heart, a broken one. Tears are shed, we realise that the time we spend on the sofa reminiscing about our life in New Zealand, the constant daydreams that bring us the most joy are the ones of the simple, unfiltered life we once had. The days when we had nothing but a backpack and time on our hands was what we so desperately needed to fill that hole.
So we made a plan!
Being a same sex couple, we had to use donor sperm to conceive, it was pretty simple and really not complex at all, we found the perfect donor and we knew he would likely donate to us again, so we decided to try for another baby, and as soon as I fell pregnant we would make the move back to New Zealand.
Thankfully, after one failed attempt, I fell pregnant and the dream got underway. Khiana managed to secure a job pretty quickly, we ordered our police checks, headed to London for our medicals and got our visa applications in! It was a nerve wracking time for sure. If anyone has experience the famous ‘two week wait’ after trying for a baby, its pretty relatable. So anxiety inducing when you want something so bad it physically hurts!
Things moved fast and our visas got accepted! Yay! We proceeded to book flights, hand our notices in at work, sold the house, the car and booked a our shipping container. (More about this in future episodes)
Little did we know the world was about to go into crisis mode
It was a rainy Wednesday, we were due to fly in just five days, the shipping container had collected our belongings and we were sleeping on an air bed with nothing but our suitcases and an old, borrowed TV for entertainment.
We turned on the news to hear about a handful of cases of an unknown, deadly virus that had been found in the UK. People seemed panicky but I was pretty sure it wouldn’t be anything sinister and the media were most likely making a drama.
Over the next 24 hours things seemed to be escalating, every station was broadcasting the unravelling chaos that was flooding through our NHS. Whichever channel you turned on it was the same, the whole world was experiencing the same thing and Covid 19 was born.
One by one, countries were shutting their borders, flights were being cancelled and our prime minister announced that to keep the country safe we would need to enter a full lockdown. No one had ever experienced anything like this, it was terrifying.
We needed to get out and get to New Zealand before we were unable to fly. Luckily, at this point, New Zealand was covid free and as long as you had family in New Zealand, flights were still heading that way. The day arrived, we packed our things, booked our taxi and headed to the airport. Things seemed pretty normal on arrival, we checked in without much drama, they took our bags and we gave our passports. The airport staff wished us well and we headed to security. Our flight was due to board in just a few short hours so we let Bowie run around and let off some steam as we waited by the gate.
Then our world crashed and our hearts broke into two
Just as we were about to board the plane, an announcement was made. ‘Unless you are a New Zealand citizen, you cannot board this flight as New Zealand have now CLOSED their borders’
We panicked, we tried to talk them round, I was pregnant, sick, we had a one year old, they needed to let us on board for humanitarian reasons! We have no belongings! All we had was a suitcase!
After hours and hours of calls to the borders, to government officials and a lot of tears, we realised we were getting nowhere fast. We had to make another plan. We called Khiana’s mum to collect us from the airport and we waited outside in silence. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t even breathe. On the drive home all I could feel was emptiness, I felt a shadow of myself.
The next couple of months were a blur. We spent the summer of lockdown sleeping in my mother in laws dining room, we had nothing, all of our belongings were at sea on their way to New Zealand, Bowie didn’t have any toys, I was riddled with pregnancy induced sickness, I spent most days hopelessly laying in bed, no end in sight. For the first month we were hopeful, we checked the news every day expecting it to be over and borders to open, this became a distant memory and we reluctantly gave up on our dreams.
Towards the end of the summer, just as I was due to give birth, we finally were able to rent a property and get some of our freedom and space back. We moved out and we began rebuilding our lives, somewhat, completely different than they were pre covid.
A fresh outlook on life
In October, we received the news that our shipping container was to be delivered after spending seven months at sea.
We were pretty excited although couldn’t even remember what we had packed!
The container arrived and the team unloaded it all and piled it into our living room. It was absolutely insane. We both turned to each other and asked what the heck were we thinking having so much ‘stuff’ that didn’t contribute at all to our lives.
We had lived for 7 months with bare minimal, we had moved into a new property with only our little family, a few suitcases and some donated furniture. We realised that joy came from moments and not things.
Most of the stuff from the container we donated. We had even packed half used shampoo bottles?! Crazy.
Our outlook on life was completely different now and we no longer felt the need to fill our voids with material things.
What happened next..
On October 23rd our beautiful daughter Flora entered the world, very quickly! We felt full, we felt content with the subconscious knowledge that one day we would return to New Zealand, but for now, we could be happy wherever we were, as a family and living a simpler version of ourselves.
Fast forward to 2022
The borders have opened! The world is getting back to normal and the sun is shining! We know its time, we have been dreaming, we have been prepping and we have spent the last three years letting our family spend us much time with relatives as possible before we make the big move. It will be hard this time, but we are ready.
Again, Khiana secured a job pretty quickly, we went through the usual hoops which we will talk in more detail about in upcoming episodes, we have booked flights and we are now, finally, getting excited to start our new life living simply in rural New Zealand.
Can’t wait to share it with you!